Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for April 22, 1979

Transcript:

Jimmy: "Secretary Seward was a shrewd dude: the bottom line on the Alaskan deal was only $7.2 million... plus points." Voice: Jimmy? Hi! This is Brenda Nicks from "People" magazine... Jimmy: I'm afraid I can't help you, Ms. Nicks. Voice: I know. I know. You've retired and don't grant interviews. Jimmy: Something like that. Voice: Well, we respect that, so to save you any inconvenience, we're going to be sending along to you our special "People" profile catalogue! Jimmy: Your what? Voice: Through the years, we have found that virtually every life story can be reduced to one of four or five basic profiles, depending on whether you're enjoying your success in Manhattan or Malibu... all you have to do is pick which story best represents you. Our researchers take it from there. Filling in specifics about your diet. Your pet causes, your affairs - you know, the usual lifestyle data! Jimmy: "Lifestyle data?" Voice: Well, of course! We like to think that each person we do is special!