Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for August 31, 1980

Transcript:

Zonker: I wonder when school starts. No I don't. Not really. Mike: Zonker, do you ever wonder whether the search for the perfect tan is worth the time you put into it? Zonker: I'm not sure I understand the question, Mike. Mike: Well, to put it less delicately, isn't tanning something of a shallow pursuit? Zonker: On the contrary, Michael. Paradoxically, tanning is anything but skin-deep. As Tony Bennett once remarked, "To tan is to live, and vice versa." Sun worshipping is not merely recreational of cosmetic, it is, at its core, highly spiritual, with rites as elaborate as those in a Japanese tea ceremony. You see, Mike, tanning is a whole lifestyle unto itself. With its own customs and bi-laws and folkcore, and a rich and honorable tradition that goes all teh way back to to 1931! Tanning has brought purpose into my life, Mike. If I died tomorrow, the papers would say, "Sophomore, dead at 20, winner of the 1980 Jack Ford Medal for excellence in tanning." There it would be - my place in the sun. Mike: So to speak... Zonker: Right. Of course, I''m not kidding myself. They'd probably only use it to sell papers.