Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for December 21, 1980

Transcript:

Voice from television: From New York, it's "The Tomorrow Show," with Tom Snyder... featuring techinicians who laugh at all of Tom's jokes! Snyder: Okay. We're back from taking a time-out for a message from our sponsors and the NBC Television Network. As you can see, we're still talking to my old drinking buddy, Santa Claus. Nick, for cryin' out loud, I gotta ask you. Is it true you've got a new system for rating the kids? Santa Claus: That's right, Tom... when I make mmy rounds this year, I'll be using my new moral checklist. The only kids who'll get presents will be those who pray in school, learn about sex at home, and believe in the Biblical version of creation. Good boys and girls are also against equal rights for their mothers, being taught by homosexuals, and being bused across towwn. Kids who score low on these issues can expect to find cinders in their stockings. Snyder: Hey, for the love of Mike, Nick, the next thing you're going to tell me is that the little tikes have to be against SALT II! Claus: That's right, Tom. Good children are for strong defense. Snyder: Well, what the heck. Okay, I gotta ask you - what happened to the beard? Claus: I got tired of looking like a damn hippie.