Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for July 18, 1999
Transcript:
President King: ...in my day...blah, blah...values...blah, blah...kids today...blah, blah... blah? B.D.: Uh-oh... President King: ...so it's a pleasure to welcome back our alumni football boosters. I know you're all anxious to hear from coach B.D., so without further ado, here he is! Coach? B.D. Thanks, President King. It's great to be here! A number of you have expressed concern lately about the state of today's athletic culture. Let me first just reassure you that our program is as disciplined and values-driven as any in the country! For instance, our players know that if they are convicted of three felonies, they are off the team for a week! It's a tough policy, but it's the main reason why Walden leads the league in eligible players! (audience): clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! President King: But you can't do it alone, can you, coach? B.D.: Without the alumni-supported bail-bond fund? No way, sir!
Now if your convicted of three felonies you are put away for life. No football for you.