Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for November 06, 2016

Transcript:

The game board for "Trump The Game!" Spaces are: born with huge head start, advance 3 spaces; saved by "heel spurs," go skiing; draft board error, go to Vietnam; get $14mm from father, skip ahead 6 spaces; busted for racial bias, marry an immigrant, call daddy, sue pentagon; whiskey tango foxtrot; sue drill instructor and stiff lawyer; no limos at fire base, sue C.O.; get shot down riding into battle on private chopper; maul USO showgirl, dishonorable discharge; get fragged by rest of platoon, loser; huge mob connections from NJ gaming commish, build 3 casinos; stiff scores of vendors; bankrupt x 6, sell yacht, airline, and draw get out of debt free card; banks put you on $450k per month allowance, lose turn; divorce and marry mistress; divorce again and marry immigrant; reality TV show, fire celebs already out of work; set up fraudulent "university" draw piggy piggy card; discuss dating own daughter; birther lie; slime Mexicans; slime women; slime Muslims; blame opponents; win GOP nom; self-deal 8MM in campaign expenses, draw piggy piggy card; attack parents of ded war hero; hide the returns; lose debates; shoot someone on fifth avenue; and you win, advance to White House. Mark: Hey, folks! Did you miss Trump's failed board game in 1989? Well, here's your chance to play a fully updated edition. Good luck!