For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for March 12, 2011

That proverb is the biggest hoax ever perpeterated upon children…for that matter upon adults too.

See, a parent can learn from her child.

You are soo full of carp.

You are so right, magnamax. The right words can hurt, no matter what your age. If not, there wouldn’t be so many wars or divorce’s. It’s how we react to these hurtful statements which shows our maturity

Sticks and stone may break my bones,

But whips and chains excite me!

Darkeforce - so I should have, in 1998 just let my mothers last words: I should have done what your grandmother suggested, and aborted you. I wish you were dead. “roll off my back”? Those words according to you, supposedly shouldn’t have hurt, as I am an adult. HOWEVER, it took me over a decade to forgive her. It doesn’t matter if you’re 6, 16, or 66, some words will always leave a scar, and some word a very very deep scar.

It seems like YOU need to mature a bit more.

Words do hurt. After 10 years my daughter is finally divorceing her alcoholic husband. He never once touched her physically but constantly abused her with words.

Human beings are social animals. We care what others think about us, so yes, words hurt. If they don’t, there’s a problem.

Oh, and Elly – the same thing goes for gossip!

Who was the idiot who came up with that phrase? You say something like that to the bullies and you get the snot beaten out of you… :/

[ By the way, I never knew c-r-a-p was a censored word on here… ]

It does look as if Mike’s words did get to Elly. Surely she must remember when words hurt HER very much.

prfessor: I was more surprised to find that it was censored..

It’s hardly in the list of the original “7 words that can’t be said on television”: (George Carlin)

Any other weird censored words here?

Darkeforce–I think you may have it backwards. If you are an adult and still saying mean and hurtful things, then you have some maturing to do. It isn’t immature to have your feelings hurt. It’s immature to go about purposefully hurting people’s feelings.

@WebSpider said, Any other weird censored words here?

Yes. I once posted on here about a strip that showed socks being mended, and got censored for using “d-a-r-n.” Sort of ridiculous, if you ask me.

Of course words can be hurtful. Its not about not being hurt by the words.

The lesson here is to learn to convert the pain into a positive response.

Elly should explain that sometimes others will hurt you with words, but it is how he responds to the hurt that matters.

She needs to remind him of his good qualities.

And when he says something hurtful to Lizzy (which he eventually will) she can remind him how he felt when someone said something hurtful to him.

Here’s a true proverb, actually a fact of life. “Pain Hurts”.

No matter the source pain does hurt. As children we want so much to be accepted by our peers and to feel included and valued. When we suffer ridicule and rejection we hurt.

As adults we crave the friendship and approval of those we value most in life but also of the community in which we live. If we are denied that, we feel hurt, we feel devalued, in other words we feel pain. And it hurts.

But certainly the big question here is, Why would any thinking, normal, sane person want to hurl hurtful words at another, especially one weaker or more vulnerable than they happen to be?

Why would anyone want to cause another pain or think it makes them smart or powerful or admirable?

The one with the real problem is the tormenter, not the tormented.

The worst part is how much crueler people have gotten on the Internet. We think that it has protected us from being found out.

I read an article recently about a sportswriter who actually tracked down the sources of the most brutal comments he received. Once he talked with these people directly, the common responses were things like “oh I was just kidding” and “I didn’t think anyone read the comments”. And people still had the audacity to comment on that article ridiculing the author yet again.

@Allan V - Sorry to hear your mother would say such a thing. I would guess she must have been in some wicked state of mind. I’m happy to hear that you have recovered somewhat from such a scarring event. That was a seriously horrible thing for her to say.

@Allan V - I hope you were mature enough when you heard her say what she did, to realized anyone who made a remark like that to her child was mentally ill. And that she had been raised by a mentally ill mother, also. Hope you have found happiness with a family of your own.

Mean people s-u-c-k!!!!!!!!!!

The kid speaks the truth.

And no amount of maturity is going to make pain go away - whether it be caused by a baseball bat, bee sting, sickness, or social pressure. You can’t just decide “I’m not going to let X hurt me” and make it so. You have to try to find a way to avoid or deal with the pain. Trying to ignore it just makes it worse.

Darkeforce: I’m guessing you’re single and live alone because if you’re married (or even just living with someone), your significant other knows you better than anyone, which means they have the power to push your buttons and hurt you with ugly words if they so choose — no matter how hard you try not to let it. I don’t think this comes from emotional immaturity on your part if your feelings become hurt by what they say. This is someone you love and who is supposed to love you; someone you trust with all your heart; someone you’ve shared all your secrets, hopes, dreams and fears with. For them to then turn around and use all that information against you when you’re in such a vulnerable position, it can really cause you a lot of pain and it’s not always something that can be forgiven and forgotten just because someone like you snaps their fingers and tells you to grow up and get over yourself. You haven’t lived their life and you don’t know what they’ve been through … and until you have, then you can’t stand judgment over them.

Well, it’s definitely at least half true. Being hit by sticks and stones do hurt. The scars from words can last longer, though.

They really do