Free Range by Bill Whitehead for March 31, 2019

To avoid a sue for discrimination was how the Lone Ranger selected Tonto as his faithful companion.

This Ranger ain’t big enough for the both of us!

I am the LONE Ranger, leave me alone!

Why not? If Tarzan can have Jane and Cheetah I can have….

That other sidekick looks a little deranged.

One too many beers, eh ranger guy?

Gonna be a tough call. Does the sidekick own a jeep?

Gabby Hayes will do if he wants more choices…..

I would have both a trusty sidekick and a faithful Indian companion. The companion would be named either Pocahantas or Prianka, either would be fine with me.

Everyone knows that the Lone Ranger does not drink alcohol or hang out in saloons.

You can’t hide your lying eyes

That looks less like a Faithful Sidekick and more like a Cantankerous Old Prospector.

In Wild Bill Elliott’s first series as Red Ryder, he had both Gabby Hayes and Little Beaver. In The Lone Ranger Rides Again, the Ranger had faithful Mexican companion Juan Vasquez as well as faithful Indian companion Tonto. (Love those old Republic Westerns!)

We know which one he picked and we know why. “For the act!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tjWYEMQ70w

I need the trusty sidekick for comic relief, something you are lacking in.

My quibble is with the “five 0’clock shadow” exhibited by Tonto. I had two full-blood great uncles and neither one had all that much facial hair. As they grew older the acquired more, but never enough to matter. They “shaved” by plucking the individual hairs out with tweezers. Ouch.

After the whole Tarzan/Cheeta/Jane fiasco, only single side kicks were allowed contractually. Avoided the “love triangle” issues.

It’s just like ’Sophie’s Choice’!