Free Range by Bill Whitehead for March 06, 2023

Step to the “rear” of the {a}"nus".

And what a big end it is.

The ending seems a bit flat

Their lives will be trunkated.

Yeah, they all thought it was a grey asteroid bearing down on them!!!

… and it’s headed in your direction.

Rearly?!?

is he preparing to sit or s*it?

Aaaaakk! Meeces to pieces!

Love the toga on the one mouse! Nice touch!

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage

You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage

You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

All you gotta do is put your mind to it

Knuckle down, buckle down

Do it, do it, do it

Well, you can’t go swimming in a baseball glove

You can’t go swimming in a baseball glove

You can’t go swimming in a baseball glove

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

You can’t change film with a kid on your back

You can’t change film with a kid on your back

You can’t change film with a kid on your back

But you can be happy if you have a mind to

You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car

You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car

You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

All you gotta do is put your mind to it

Knuckle down, buckle down

Do it, do it, do it

Well, you can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

You can’t go fishing in a watermelon patch

You can’t go fishing in a watermelon patch

You can’t go fishing in a watermelon patch

But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

You can’t demonstrate in an elephant herd

Too, too near. Someone change the sign to ‘was’ near before you leave memorial service.

Hope he uses Charmin….

Republican jokes in 3-2-1…

What is the “grey stuff” on the elephants feet? Slow moving rodents!

Apachylypse.

That one guy needs to turn his sign upside down and place it strategically. If I was going to have an elephant sit on me, and had the means to do so at the time, he’s definitely getting a colonoscopy.

Someone’s gonna be butt hurt.

Not gonna happen: elephants are afraid of mice.

So much for the old canard that elephants are afraid of mice.