Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 06, 2009

You overdosed on comic strips?

You became top heavy, and tipped over, striking your head on the bottom frame.

Slipped on those tiles that the murderess, Teresa, drew as your background?

An attack of displaced underwear?

This is what I always say when creditors are calling.

Sudoku … or a broken heart

from banal peer group insults?

Suicide non-blonde? Dyed by your own hand?

You gave up on romance, then met one of the Fusco brothers?

I’m saving my death for 15 April

That’s Margaret O’Toole, the girl who raised her hand in that classic symbolic gesture behind the nun in the picture. It was revenge, years later Sister Maria Immaculata saw the photograph. She became filled with rage, she left the order, stalked Margaret O’Toole and when she found her she beat Margaret O’Toole to death with her 12” ruler.

Of embarrassment.

Stepped on a crack, broke your back. Mother was already dead, so it killed you instead.

Did you mistake that crossword puzzle you’re lying on for a hopscotch pattern, and hop yourself to death? I’ve seen similar things happen, like a chameleon in front of a mirror. It isn’t pretty. Well, the chameleon is, for a while…

Did you fall down dead after listening to Lady Gaga on SNL try to convince us she is a singer?

Terminal girdle rash?

Judging by the position, I’d say it was a luge accident

Fatal wedgie?

grapfhics, I loved your version!

Jumped off an enormously tall stack of Edward Gorey books?