Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 02, 2022

Later, a sign was added to the cemetery gate: FREE RELOCATIONS AVAILABLE

Could be worse. Could be raining.

Archeologists will come along in 10,000 years and theorize that it was a lakeside-dwelling family who built prosthetics and worshipped them.

Where they reassembled into the lady of the lake holding a sword.

Lakes are not usually uphill from graves because gravity.

LMAO!

Seems a very grave situation here!

People have been dying to get in but after decades of digging, he’s collected numerous “souvenirs”…..not only prosthetic legs, arms and such parts and pieces, he’s accumulated several pacemakers, mesch squares, bolts and nuts, teeth with gold and or silver fillings, pigs valves, cemented discs, many overgrown fingernails and toenails, deflated breast implants, sponges, forcepts, gauze…..

it’s no wonder they died…..

We won’t say fellow, about pints of whiskey tucked in graves. It was the digger’s motivational tools needed.

The Resurrectionist goes plying/ Without ado his simple trade. / Material is always dying/ And got with nothing but a spade.

-E. Gorey.

…they had been doing this for years…

…the transients were from the losing side of the Froglandia Civil War…

…all of their monuments had been taken down…

…and replaced by K-Marts…

…which were replaced by Gold Circles…

…which were replaced by Ten Bit Stores…

…they’re making a play about it…

…Charlie’s Angels pt. IV….

The gravedigger was a simple man. He called a spade a spade and saw things clearly, according to his lights. If space were needed to bury the ever-growing numbers of newly dead, then he’d simply remove some of the oldest residents of the necropolis to make room. After all, they were long gone and couldn’t complain.

The thought of an evil artificial limb, rising from the lake to haunt him, never crossed his mind.

At some point the Earth will be filled with shrines to the dead. Is that what was meant by “Increase & multiply & fill the world[?]”

Dem bones, dem bones, dem wet bones …

Your prosthetic leg bone connected to your nothing bone …!

And then … “in nineteen ninety-eight when The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.”

“The Structuralists confirmed the inequity between life and death. In their contrasting opposites, life was first in the arrangement, connoting objectivity, dominance, and rationality; conversely, death represented subjectivity, subordination, and irrationality.“

In 2022? Nope, just nope.

With EVERY life, you get ONE FREE DEATH, compliments of the maker, at NO EXTRA CHARGE!

Seems kind of wasteful. Why not repurpose them into a wind chime or maybe a xylophone. I’m sure it could be fashioned into a swell garden gate or chandelier, or perhaps even a slatted lounge chair you could use to lay out under the stars and contemplate what lay beyond the veil.

Now the Lady of the Lake will grant you Excanklebur if you are worthy.

A familiar tale. In the country I used to visit regularly, the Old had to make way for the New, sice cemetery space was limited. The Old were evicted after a certain set number of years, their bones collected into bone repositories indiscriminately. Better than a lake bottom, anyway….

Ossuary

This sounds as though it were taken from a real story somewhere.