Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 05, 2022

If you leaf a hamster in your hand, and you’re bitten near the sand, that’s a moray.

An ’amster? Where, in Amsterdam?

I was unable to bring in my completed homework assignment, because my eel ate my hamster. This is notice that I am filing for an extension for the assignment, under Froglandia Schoolboard Article VII, subsection b.

…electric eels aren’t even eels at all…

…she said sharply…

…and they are air breathers…

…but,since you don’t have any…

…she remarked…

I’ll have to get Hubby something else for his birthday…

…Hmm…

…she thought out loud…

…I’ll have a hamster and a roll of string…

…it’s not quite what I wanted…

…but, it will have to do…

The problems is flatworms and their cutting remarks.

A boy in India was attacked by a Corbra but he bit it twice and the snake died! The snake didn’t release venom when it bit the boy, which is a miracle!

In other news, a woman was caught by a store detective, stealing a ham and he followed her through the checkout and she didn’t pay for it, so he followed her to the car and when he looked in she was taking the ham from between her legs…true story….

EW EW EW☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Better a hamster than a gerbel. Isn’t that right, Richard?

Do we need permission to make such a supposition? Sorry, that could be my Catholic upbringing coming to the fore.

In other news, I’m going to the art supply store to get Teresa a new sketch pad.

Igor how does the hamster eel about putting him in the monsters brain.

The _cribbles are back …

for those who give a s_ _ _ …!

It don’t ean a thing, if it ain’t got that wing.

Smashing Pumpkins and Spice Girls is an eel eeling.

Johnny’s bringing down the ham it upster.

Eels? Why does it have to be stinkin’ eels? They might be hurtful, you know.

And what are we to make of this stereotype, a woman who cannot make up her mind about her purchase, ham or hamster? What is so similar, or confusing, about the two? I eat ham. I have nothing to do with abused little rodents. As the saying goes, bite me!

Ya eel, you don’t eel a thing because you live in an ocean. You dried up old thing.

Next week back to watching sandlot baseball with the small boys.

The leaf inspires me Mis.ty. I miss the oxygen from a lively one.

*PHONE NUMBER NINEEL-BIGBEN-LADEN

October, twenty-five, this year.

Time is turned backwards.

This bud bowl or T cup is for u.

A man with the one-in unit walks into a bar and says I want a short one. A man with a 12-in unit walks into a bar it says I want a tall one. The lady named Alexa walks up to the bar with the two are standing, and says I’m long tall Alexa, who needs me. Alexa, who needs me, sorry I don’t know that one.

I hope the next installment of frog Applause is just a hop skip and a jump away.