Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 08, 2023

used to what, dance naked in a go-go bar?

Some people invest in housing stock, some buy up bars. Gil prefers the latter.

Who is the kid in the red hoodie? Not Toby since Mel is kicking it at Milford Apparel, increasing her tee wardrobe.

“What’s up Doc Pearl? More carrots please.”

Due to budget cuts at Milford High, teachers and administrators take on additional support staff duties. Principal Pearl runs the lunch line whilst Gil empties trash and sweeps classrooms.

P4, Dr. Pearl reacts as in Oliver Twist. What? More?

Again, the strip reads like someone took random sentences and just stuck them together.

“Honestly?” Honestly what? You can’t believe my parents are chocoholics? You can’t believe I didn’t know your mom died while in a diabetic coma from eating too many candy bars? You can’t believe that Dr. Pearl, a.k.a. Granny from Beverly Hills, is slinging hash in this dump? I can’t wait to hear about the 5th or 6th plot twist since we last saw a basketball or JV volleyball game.

P3- That’s Dr. Pearl to you young man! Wouldn’t snarkers enjoy a What’s up Knight moment? What’s up Granny Clampett?

P 4:“…oh yeah….go wipe off that table over there for us Pearl…some kids left their trash and s*** all over it…”

P 2.5: “…so who buys them now instead of her?…”

Corcoran High’s pretty smart- sell the school to a Shark. Milford should consider that offer from Mark Cuban if they really want to raise money for sports programs.

The fundraising arc is riveting! I know! Let’s hire a bunch of steel workers and have Rivet-a-thon!

P-1: The Black Community in Milford is doing well. So how many Bars are there in Milford? Are some of those in Central City?

P-2: We learn that Female Native American Bar Owners have a short life expectancy. Could Vito be involved?

P-3: Dr. Pearl makes an inappropriate comment right after hearing about a student’s dead mother. Nice!

Where is this strip going? How did it so badly run off the rails, and, more importantly, why are the editors/syndicate allowing it to continue. I’m sorry, but HB has to go. His take on what Gil Thorp should be is so far removed from the original concept as to make it unrecognizable. He has turned this into a platform for his own social agenda. Some strips successfully make transitions into current affairs and address cultural changes, but this isn’t one of them. Other strips remain relevant and entertaining without ever leaving the world in which they were created. Look at the strips that have successfully navigated the years and the changes without ever deviating from their original path. The list is endless. The high dive HB takes into ‘woke’ (I actually hate that word) issues and political correctness on a daily basis serves no purpose and does nothing more than destroy the legacy of the creator. Enough is enough. This is Gil Thorp in name only. The soul of the strip is gone.

All right, now you have gone too far. Completely utterly ridiculous. What teenage boy ever actually ever said “More carrots, please?”

So where is Doc Pearl going to pop up next? She’d been the principal, janitor and now lunch lady. I am betting school nurse. Or trainer.

If Leo starts juggling bananas we will know for sure that he is food insecure!

If the Lift-A-Thon was such a huge success, then why is Dr Pearl still working in the cafeteria?

Is Granny going to get out her raccoon coat and bring her megaphone to the big game? Boolah boolah!

Meanwhile Day Umpteen over at Nick’s Diner where the conversation has DRAGGED over topics ranging from Truck Tyler’s relationship with Wanda(do you want to keep this platonic?) to a woman who used to own a diner who got corns on her feet at the end of the day but STILL wants to travel to Florida in a vehicle. I hope Glenwood isn’t in North Dakota. Then Wanda asks her if she used to own a diner. Oh boy, another conversation that’ll snail on us for another week and a half. Oh goodness, just put Dr. Pearl in charge and BE DONE WITH IT. She’s not attending to her principal duties anyway. If she knows how to boss people around to put the chipped Jello bowls out, Nick’s Diner’ll make a fortune.

Rats. I made a prediction in today’s Mopped Up Thorp and it was a colossal failure. I could go back and change it, but I’ll just leave it.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Vito from Goshen is back from an olive oil convention, and he congratulated Gil on the lift-a-whatever. He didn’t appreciate his slice of money being counted in public by a high-school girl, but times are tough in Milford. Vito is still looking for Herk the Mauler for a fundraiser. That girl with the crazy mom wanted a burnathon, and Tru Storey said he’d walk to Hawaii to raise money for Gil.

Well stated