Herman by Jim Unger for November 25, 2022

Those can be used as weapons. Getting stabbed by a screwdriver will definitely hurt.

That’s going to drive the screws nuts

If you ask your girlfriend for a screwdriver and she responds with phillips flat or vodka, marry her like, yesterday! She’s the one!

If he can actually eat the cake, he’s ahead of he game.

I’d ask for wrenches and make a musical instrument resembling a xylophone

The lady is definitely unclear on the concept of prison breaks. “But there was a sale on Craftsman tool sets. I could have got you a fully stocked rolling tool cabinet with a wide assortment of files, but I thought that might raise suspicions …”

Looking at the cake: Did he just dodge a bullet (at a shotgun wedding)?

He’s already been screwed by the system…thanks, though!

And.. to make matters worse, probably those Canadian square Robertson ones that are useless on american screws.

Even if she brought him a file in the cake, he couldn’t fit through that tiny window.

Woman, don’t you know anything? The screws are welded in!!!

No, if she responds with phillips, JIS, flat or vodka SHE’S the one!!!

The guards didn’t get suspicious, looks like a wedding cake.

Ah Ma, I wanted hack saw blades darn it….

most excellent

I asked my chauffeur for a screwdriver once, and he drove me to a motel,