Ink Pen by Phil Dunlap for January 23, 2013
January 22, 2013
January 24, 2013
Transcript:
Ralston: What are you supposed to be? Hamhock: I'm the mascot for a ham substitute call "Squam." It's made from squirrel. Ralston: Sounds great. Hamhock: I'm sure it's awful. I wish I could quit. Ralston: Look, maybe you should just exploit the situation for all the exposure you can get. Hamhock: Really? You think that's OK? Ralston: Sure. I mean, I plan to exploit the situation for all the exposure I can get... Hamhock: Oh for...
No no, they need saving. At least the ones around here do. Saving from their suicidal selves. This past summer was ridiculous. Going doing the interstate with cars doing 65 to 80 MPH and seeing a squirrels running right down the middle of the road with the flow of traffic. Not the breakdown lane but the middle of a four lane interstate. And on local roads and highways seeing them run out across the road just bare feet ahead of cars doing 40 MPH or more and seem to be missed by mere inches. I swear they had either bottle rockets or model rocket motors shoved up their backsides cause I swear I watched smoke and fire spew from them as they crossed. Even had one sit in the middle of one of the local roads I take and then sit up and stare at us when we honked the horn at it to get the stupid thing to move. It just stared at us like we were the ones who needed to get out of the road.