Kliban by B. Kliban for July 13, 2020

my Irish Grandmother stayed in Convents all the way to Montana.

Sadly, the Py-Co-Pay was low, but it made her feel good each day when she was fin-ished!

It was better than attaching lip balm to chickens.

Huh. We might be related. Or maybe my grandmother’s English was really really bad.

Didn’t understand why? Those toothbrushes aren’t going to strap themselves to the fish, you know!

I can guess the brush was for getting scales off the fish..(..brusha brusha brusha, new IPANA toothpaste…) Old commercial….

A pilot project exploring the possibility of putting laser beams on top of sharks?

As a very old woman, Grandmother went to a marine mammal show and saw a whale with very white teeth. It was her last epiphany.

…so that people could get their daily dose of omega-3 fatty acids while they fight tooth decay. The results of the study were inconclusive, as the majority of the subjects threw the materials in the trash after three days.

At least they gave them gloves to wear.

Well her husband’s job was no better…..he had to tune a fish.

I’m guessing they were like a prize at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.

I’m trying to envision Lucy and Ethyl doing that job…