Kliban by B. Kliban for August 24, 2020

Is this a newly-discovered method for deflating Mitch McConnell?

Pretty sure that’s a tortoise, not a turtle.

This is such an old trick. Seen it many times on Penn and Teller.

I expected him to snort it up his nose! Coke Turtle!

Reminds me of the far side today, the mailman getting sucked into the mailbox.

The turtle is actually still in the straw!

That’s a pretty random thought… What do you estimate the odds are that the Herb of Randomness was involved?

Probably not an ‘upper’…

Is this why we can’t have plastic straws anymore? I thought it was because a straw got into a turtle, not the other way around.

Why?

A slow sucking process not to be repeated…..WE SHELL SEE!

Field survival technique: how to soup a turtle. Always carry a straw.

TADA! And now surviving Salmonella!!

OH GROSS!!

This does not age well.