Transcript:
Luann: Dear diary: Well, my parents think I should go out with Gunther, even though his own shadow won't go near him! Luann: They told me that when I'm with Gunther, I have to act like I'm having a wonderful time. Luann: Who am I, Meryl Streep?!
On this date, at 12:15 pm, the most wonderful person in my life was born!