Matt Bors for August 26, 2009

Transcript:

One of the first things my pappy taught me was how to get what I want in this crazy world... Father: If you're negotiating with a man, start with less than you want and fold easy. Settle for whatever. Father: Keep your eye in the general vicinity of the ball. Father: If you want to win a woman's heart, tell her you are gay and only want to be friends. Accept less, if possible. Father: And finally, if you want something done right, you have to do a half-measure yourself and leave the rest to future generations! He was a very successful democratic senator.