Matt Bors for June 15, 2011
Transcript:
Syria Shuts Down Internet, Decreasing Chance Of Sex Scandal The State Dept. issued a blunt message to Bashar Al-Assad's regime this week. Hillary Clinton: We are deeply concerned about Syrians' ability to tweet their genitals and capture our attention for a brief moment before bed. Reports of the mass arrests, torture and murder of people who could have launched a sex scandal is causing alarm. Man: They've been organizing revolution with their phones instead of sexting, which is too bad because I need something interesting to write about. The U.S. has condemned the violence, but not called for Al-Assad to resign. Hillary Clinton: MURDER BAD. But he stays until we find solid evidence of infidelity, preferably a photo or even a video we could leave comments on.