Matt Bors for March 20, 2013
March 18, 2013
March 25, 2013
Transcript:
Principal: Nine-one-one, he has a pastry. He'll pounce on any scary snack. It's "unch" now! The letter "L" could kill someone. A new dumb thing that happened: A seven-year-old in Maryland was suspended for chewing a Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun. Obviously, we need to pack our lunchrooms full of security guards who are really hungry. Round up all edibles with weapon-like appearance and eat them in front of children. Make them cry. Glock PB&J. Molotov Sunny D. Twinkie Nuke with Long-Range Delivery System. I don't even like the word "lunch." Too dangerous.
