I have my own rules of the road based on how I observe people drive.
Boston: maneuver your cah so if the other driver does not take evasive action, he will hit you.
LA: Do not discharge a .38 in .22 zone.
Seattle: If it is raining (and when isn’t it?) Slow down to 10 mph and crash into the nearest vehicle. Beware of bridges that fall down or sink.
Dallas / Fort Worth: all accidents MUST block more than one lane of traffic. Easy to do when your pickup truck is larger than a WWII Russian Tank.
New York City: Definition of a New York second: the time between when the light turns green and the car behind you honks its horn. There is a device called a horn-o-matic that activates on the detection of a green light.
Georgia: Watch out for children; they have a difficult time seeing over the dashboard of the piece of heavy equipment farm machinery they are operating.
Tennessee: If you can read the bumper sticker on the pick up truck with the gun rack in front of you and it says, “If you can read this you are in small arms range.” back off. Also, you Yankees with the horn-o-matic might think about having it de-installed.
North Carolina: (NASCAR Country) – turn left, turn left, turn left, turn left. If the car in front of you goes through the red light, you may go through it too. Speed limits are posted in Mach, not miles per hour.
Istanbul: The California Driver’s manual translated into Turkish (no kidding) interpreted with Islamic fatalism. If Allah wills that you have an accident, you will have an accident no matter how safely you drive. If Allah wills to protect you, no amount of daring can harm you.
I have my own rules of the road based on how I observe people drive.
Boston: maneuver your cah so if the other driver does not take evasive action, he will hit you.
LA: Do not discharge a .38 in .22 zone.
Seattle: If it is raining (and when isn’t it?) Slow down to 10 mph and crash into the nearest vehicle. Beware of bridges that fall down or sink.
Dallas / Fort Worth: all accidents MUST block more than one lane of traffic. Easy to do when your pickup truck is larger than a WWII Russian Tank.
New York City: Definition of a New York second: the time between when the light turns green and the car behind you honks its horn. There is a device called a horn-o-matic that activates on the detection of a green light.
Georgia: Watch out for children; they have a difficult time seeing over the dashboard of the piece of heavy equipment farm machinery they are operating.
Tennessee: If you can read the bumper sticker on the pick up truck with the gun rack in front of you and it says, “If you can read this you are in small arms range.” back off. Also, you Yankees with the horn-o-matic might think about having it de-installed.
North Carolina: (NASCAR Country) – turn left, turn left, turn left, turn left. If the car in front of you goes through the red light, you may go through it too. Speed limits are posted in Mach, not miles per hour.
Istanbul: The California Driver’s manual translated into Turkish (no kidding) interpreted with Islamic fatalism. If Allah wills that you have an accident, you will have an accident no matter how safely you drive. If Allah wills to protect you, no amount of daring can harm you.
Yes, I have driven in all these places.