Nancy by Olivia Jaimes for February 04, 2015
February 03, 2015
February 05, 2015
Transcript:
Sluggo: Tonight, I go for my dream of becom-ing a stand-up comed-ian! Kermit: THIS may not be the BEST audience for a TRY-OUT! Old men: BOO! BOO! Sluggo: Wocka! Wocka!
Best of Statler and Waldorf:WARNING! Long!
Statler: Personally I don’t care for puppets much. I don’t find them believable.Waldorf: I don’t believe you Waldorf: Another rhyming song? They are really getting desperate.Statler: Desperation is a good sign, soon they may panic and run away. Statler: I think honesty is always the best policy.Waldorf: You believe that?Statler: No, I was lying. Waldorf: I wish Gene Kelly would teach me the Charleston.Statler: I wish Gene Kelly would drive you to Charleston. Waldorf: Wake me when the show starts.Statler: It’s already been on awhile.Waldorf: Wake me when it’s over. Statler: I love it! I love it!Waldorf: Of course he lovesit; he’s the kind of guy who plants poison ivy. Statler: You think this show is educational?Waldorf: Yes, it will drive people to read books. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: There. I have just placed on Gilda’s forehead a single, teensy, weensy drop of Muppet’s new super adhesive. Now we’ll wait a moment for it to get tacky. Statler: What are we waiting for? Waldorf: For it to get tacky. Statler: Another first for this show. Waldorf: How’s that? Statler: It’s the first time we’ve had to wait for it to get tacky. Waldorf: There’s something wrong with this hearing aid.Statler: Yeah, what’s wrong?Waldorf: I can’t hear it.[accidentally knocks it off the balcony]Statler: Oh, no wonder! It’s too far away. Statler: Oh, no, it’s that bear again.Waldorf: Hey, bear, you’re not even funny in 3-D![they laugh]Fozzie Bear: Oh, no, not you guys. How’d you get here?Statler: We entered a contest.Waldorf: Yeah. We lost! Statler: Finally, we’ve seen them do a good show. Waldorf: Good, can we please stop coming now? Waldorf: That was a funny show. Statler: Yes, it was. I wonder if they meant it that way. Waldorf: The show’s speeding along very quickly this evening.Statler: Oh yes, someone must have told them it’s harder to hit a moving target. Statler: Every week this show looks better to me.Waldorf: Every week your eyesight gets worse. [the cast of Sesame Street is crowding behind Waldorf and Statler’s box seat]Waldorf: How should we know how to get to Sesame Street?Statler: We don’t even know how to get out of this stupid theater box! Waldorf: I’ve got half a mind to leave. Staler: If you had half a mind, you wouldn’t be here. Statler: I loved tonight’s show!Waldorf: Really?Statler: Of course not. I just wanted to see if I could say it. Waldorf: That was weird.Statler: I’ll tell the world.Waldorf: Go ahead.Statler: [looking into camera] That was weird!