Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I decided to have a small, intimate wedding in a foreign country and invited guests with one month’s notice. We anticipated most wouldn’t come, so we clarified that there was no pressure at all and that we didn’t want gifts. Most of my friends couldn’t come but congratulated me and wished me the best.
My best friend, however, was silent until I followed up. When I did, he launched an avalanche of complaints: that he would have to ask for days off, pay for the plane ticket, buy a suit, and so on. He wrote that he detests me 5 percent of the time and called me a “wedding terrorist.” He was given the days off, but when he realized travel time would be six hours each way, he canceled.
I told him I don’t mind that he’s not coming, but I was hurt and upset that instead of congratulating me he adopted a victim mind-set and complained for nearly two weeks before ultimately reneging. Am I wrong to be angry?
Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I decided to have a small, intimate wedding in a foreign country and invited guests with one month’s notice. We anticipated most wouldn’t come, so we clarified that there was no pressure at all and that we didn’t want gifts. Most of my friends couldn’t come but congratulated me and wished me the best.
My best friend, however, was silent until I followed up. When I did, he launched an avalanche of complaints: that he would have to ask for days off, pay for the plane ticket, buy a suit, and so on. He wrote that he detests me 5 percent of the time and called me a “wedding terrorist.” He was given the days off, but when he realized travel time would be six hours each way, he canceled.
I told him I don’t mind that he’s not coming, but I was hurt and upset that instead of congratulating me he adopted a victim mind-set and complained for nearly two weeks before ultimately reneging. Am I wrong to be angry?
— The Uncongratulated Fiance