Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 16, 2012

Donut holes.

Dehydrated water.

Naaahhhh; Paperwork for competitors to wade through!Maybe they could sub-contract ‘legal talent’ to other shops, as workload permits.

So that’s what happens behind the scenes at Dilbert’s company…

Whirlpool used to sell propane refrigerators in Europe, but didn’t dare do it in the US, because they had a tendency to explode. The cost in law suits was acceptable in Europe, but in the US, with their fancy pants lawyers, made the lives of Americans worth too much to be acceptable losses…Take pride, folks, your life is worth more than a Frenchman’s….

what? no manufact?“we’re ready for the negligence [we shall show toward our own] lawsuits”

How useless…a room full of lawyers.

That must be the bar room.

I hope he dropped Victoria, she was a pushy broad.

Ah, Standard Right Wing Talking Point #7… I was wondering when it would show up..If you look closely at your ladder, you’ll find the warning is not on the top rung; it’s on the second rung down, and it says “don’t stand above this step—you could lose your balance.” Which is true. A stepladder is a precarious perch, and when you’re working up that high you can’t steady yourself with your hands; you’ve got to sort of press your knee against the top rung. So there is a common-sense reason for the warning. And if the lawyers/government/etc were really that serious about keeping you from doing this, they’d remove the top rung or tilt it so you couldn’t stand on it. The label is a piece of information, that’s all… and you’re free to ignore it..As for the legendary “hot coffee” story, look it up on Snopes. The coffee in question was almost at the boiling point, well above the restaurant industry’s standards for coffee temperature (because the restaurant in question was using scalding water to extract a wee bit of flavor from the cheap beans they were using), and the customer suffered extensive burns. The company was negligent and deserved to pay… and interestingly, the large suit only came after they refused to pay the customer’s medical bills, which were pretty small compared to the eventual award. They could have avoided the whole business by accepting a little responsibility for their actions.

Plus think of the other suing possibilities.

I once saw a tool drill that said “Do not use for dental procedures.” Who is doing that?!? “Come on son, we don’t need to spend money on a dentist, just step into my toolshed!!!”

now WAIT….this is no comic strip….that is the REAL thing….!!…somebody tell Jon Stewart…..

Aah, the American legal system. Makes you proud, doesn’t it?

October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pa., was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found in the garage and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner’s insurance, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of a half million dollars.

I hear that “hot coffee” canard constantly. Here is a factual account of the incident:

http://www.hotcoffeethemovie.com/Default.asp

“Accountability…is un-American!” – Opus

Reminds me of classic Bloom County strip. Steve Dallas, young lawyer, sits in his cob-webbed office with no business. “What this county needs is ANOTHER lawyer.”

“And because you’re the new guy, you can start by taking their coffee orders…good luck!”

@DaboogadieWe wouldn’t want to penalise success, would we?You have no idea the stress endured by those who tirelessly struggle to attain the status of richest resident in the boneyard.

Moocher’s mindset: How much money can I extort from this producer?

" When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy….."Aristophanes c. 450-385 b.c.

" Every peasant has a lawyer inside of him, just as every lawyer, no matter how urbane he may be, carries a peasant within himself."Miguel de Unamuno

@hsawlrae@LinuxOsLove these suggestions.Ah, to mass-produce donut holes and dehydrated water. ’Twould be the crowning achievements of American ingenuity and make the U.S. the envy of the world.Now all we need is someone with deep enough pockets to begin production and watch the money roll in.

So true. I opened a package that said “don’t put the plastic bag over your head as this is dangerous”. It’s not rocket science.

In previous generations, it was pretty much understood that gross stupidity was usually punished with death. Unfortunately, we have now evolved into a society where the litigation lawyers have made their clients’ idiocy a reason to sue.

Two results: the shallow end of the gene pool is not properly dredged, letting the stupid propagate, and laughable law suits abound..

I know it’s easy to make snide remarks about lawyers but nowadays it is lawyers who impose some degree of responsibility on business not to kill and maim people in the pursuit of cheap overseas goods and food in the name of profit. Remember Mitsui who paid off families of the injured for some time and hid the facts and fees – twice rather than do a recall and fix the known problem. Want the job? Set up a muckraking website. Do something besides mouth the lines the insurance companies feed you.

A corporation’s only responsibility is to its shareholders. If it’s cheaper to pay off lawsuits because of accidents or deaths of the consumers than it is to fix the problem, well, let the bodies pile up like cord wood as long as the profits keep rolling in…

Got 6 phosphor mines that are polluting waterways with selenium levels far above the EPA mandated limit, are toxic to wildlife, and are causing mutations in fish? What does a responsible company do? Well, Simplot’s solution is to get the EPA to raise the regulated limit on Selenium. Problem solved!

If corporations are people, they should be thrown in jail to protect the public from these sociopaths…

No different in the UK.

“Cape does not allow user to fly.”

“I forget what we manufacture…”

That’s because you don’t. It’s all made in China now.

have lawyer-suit, will travail – palidin