Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 16, 2014

Well, a little longer.

Ahh… That’s why the Wise One sits up atop a high mountain. So the boob who jumps out of a perfectly good airplane gets the message in time…

Last time I pulled a rip cord, my pyjama pants fell down.

And make sure you have enough poster board and magic markers on hand…. You know, maybe if he;d written his signs faster, the jumper would have had time to pull the cord….

“Bail! Bail! Bail!”“Mop! Mop! Mop!”

Quick, before it becomes a R.I.P. cord.

The real secret to a long life is knowing when to stay put.

check this link http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/fashion/daily/2014/07/31/31-peach-butts.o.jpg/a_4x-horizontal.jpg

Maybe not peaches but you can buy a hammock for a banana (aka:Speedo)

is that how you find it?

I would love to pull the rip cord except my golden parachute does not exist.

A parachute is ony neccessary if you want to skydive twice.

Geroni-splat.

A wait too long can become forever…

Well, turnabout is fair play.

The last time I pulled a rip cord, I blamed the dog.

The real secret to a long life is not dying.

I heard the speedo limit is 21.

“I didn’t know you could buy Speedos for peaches.”-—————————————————Why not? You can get lingerie for them.peaches-sold-in-sexy-lingerie-in-china

You can’t take it with you, so I just won’t go.

That is only if you know which one is the ‘rip cord.’

My dad wasn’t going for the nude effect, but him wearing red speedos well into his golden years was a disturbing enough sight. One evening, he answered his doorbell wearing nothing but the aforementioned red underwear, expecting me, but got one of my colleagues instead — an ex-nun.

You can’t write this stuff.

Only if you have gerontophilia AND gymnophilia.

Or just don’t jump in the first place.