Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 14, 2019

Maybe write about the cat’s life, more excitement?

I know for a fact that I am not the most boring person on Earth.

That would be interesting.

It is something to leave to your descendants. Their computers will probably rewrite it and shorten it.

When you have nothing to say, use a thesaurus to up the word count.

We have all had potholes in life, not all of us have married them….

A great writer can keep readers fascinated by the most mundane things.

Rats! i knew there was a catch.

Behind every great author is a great editor. As an editor, she should know that it’s spelled “patootie”

People will read good writing even if it’s not about a celebrity. I just attended an event where hundreds of people paid good money to see an actor tell the true story of a janitor. As mundane a story as there is, but well-told. The audience went away well satisfied.

Request from a non-American: what is a RAT’S PATOOT?

Do a Trump, find someone, blame them for everything, make up lies and say No quid pro quo and then tell all.

Eddie, sans cap, pipe, and imagination.

Actually, if people do give a rat’s patoot, that still doesn’t add up to a lot of sales. You want them to give a larger patoot than that.

You COULD pull a trump, have SOMEONE ELSE write it, and CLAIM that you did and that you are an expert at EVERYTHING…

Wed men tell no tales…

Apparently, Betty is the pragmatist. Bob is the dreamer. Not a bad combination for longevity.

Apparently not. How else to explain the success of the Paris Hilton and the Kardashians.

Finding out what the “rat’s patooty” IS the challenge….

Way for rich overlords to launder money to sycophantic toadies through phony book sales

Light dawns on Marblehead. (That’s a MA geography saying)

Great Writing: something you remember longer than the last tweet, post, text, or instagram you received.

A “′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read.” Mark Twain.

We are all actors in search of an audience.

A personal tell-all book also relies on one having something worth telling. Doesn’t appear Bob has much source material.

Just do what your President does and imagine one. :p

Step 1. Designate yourself as an internet influencer.

It doesn’t matter as long as the writer gives a cat’s (sic) patoot. (Slightly better than a rat’s patoot.)

You could write like Ayn Rand, form a simplistic opinion and repeat it over and over. That should make it true.

Judging by the people called “Celebrities” these days, the bar for giving a rat’s patoot must be very low.

I wrote about watching TV all summer…My teacher gave me an F!

Claim it’s an Unauthorized “Tell All” Bio of Bill Clinton and it’ll sell a Million Copies before the ink is dry.

Be Sure to title it something like “The Real Story of The Blue Dress”.

Just make it a “Roman a clef”.

Sort of like when a cartoonist starts with making inane political jokes that cater to the one percent because he doesn’t like the person in office.