Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 24, 2024

Hmmm…which two?

The legal department suggested adding a commandment that said “Thou shalt share your gold with lawyer”, but a bolt of lighting axed that commandment. Lawyers found another way to make it so.

Does that mean there were originally 12 Commandments … not 15 like Mel Brooks claimed?

The Ten Commandments.

God could have gone with…

“Thou shalt not rape”

“Thou shalt not kidnap”

“Thou shalt not claim the right to own other human beings as chattel property.”

But nope. He went with three commandments that glorify himself, threw in a few basic law and order standards that were copied from the earlier Hammurabi Code, along with “thou shalt not covet.” Thou shalt not covet? That is the whole basis of the modern American economy — admen trying to get people to covet things they don’t have and talk them into buying tons of overpriced junk they don’t need.

“Thou shalt not kill”: God sure was into killing, big time.

Human race is best proof that God does not exist.

A lawyer got involved? That’s a bad Sinai.

Really? If this were true, they would have been called the Ten Suggestions.

OK, package them up and send them to Louisiana schools.