Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 24, 2024

Hmmm…which two?

The legal department suggested adding a commandment that said “Thou shalt share your gold with lawyer”, but a bolt of lighting axed that commandment. Lawyers found another way to make it so.

Does that mean there were originally 12 Commandments … not 15 like Mel Brooks claimed?

The Ten Commandments.

God could have gone with…

“Thou shalt not rape”

“Thou shalt not kidnap”

“Thou shalt not claim the right to own other human beings as chattel property.”

But nope. He went with three commandments that glorify himself, threw in a few basic law and order standards that were copied from the earlier Hammurabi Code, along with “thou shalt not covet.” Thou shalt not covet? That is the whole basis of the modern American economy — admen trying to get people to covet things they don’t have and talk them into buying tons of overpriced junk they don’t need.

“Thou shalt not kill”: God sure was into killing, big time.

Human race is best proof that God does not exist.

A lawyer got involved? That’s a bad Sinai.

Really? If this were true, they would have been called the Ten Suggestions.

OK, package them up and send them to Louisiana schools.

If you’re wrong, he shall smite thee with his mighty staff. He’s in ‘a mood’, his sandals chaffed his bunions all the way up.

Shouldn’t this be shown like after Passover?

Didn’t make no never mind — he went ahead with the ten anyway.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall forsake Trump.

And if someone brings suit against ‘the two’ he will represent them . . . for a fee.

Lawyers have existed since the beginning of life on earth, like cockroaches

Decided to stir the pot today Wiley did ya?

Jesus simplified these 10 and the hundred others in the Torah: Love God. Love your neighbor. I’m OK with people skipping the first. But those who claim to do the first and do not do the second are hypocrites.

Now he has an additional 10 tablets covered in microscopic legalese.

Nah, 1st rule, kill all the lawyers ! ;-)

Devout atheist so just curious. Since the Dead Sea Scrolls are the only source for the myth that are even close to a first person account of the stories, were, are they in Hebrew? Odd that as far as I know there are no other sources of evidence. Greeks, Romans, both kept good records and I would think someone who caused so much trouble would have been recorded somewhere .

Now onto HR

Aren’t those called “The Mosaic Laws” already? Surely he was the ‘go-to’ guy, not the one in the suit.

Man, I can hardly believe that here we are, 119 comments into a cartoon about the 10 commandments and nobody has yet posted the most definitive analysis of them ever done — the one by George Carlin. Here to rectify that omission is the link to the most educational 6 minutes you’re likely to have all year: youtube.Com/watch?v=sk81tUUhRig

“Ok, guys, I have good and bad news. The good news: I got him down to 10. The bad news: adultery is still in.”

Which two?

I parted the Red Sea and there was a Blue One underneath