Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 06, 2020

Now that is very clever Mr Parisi, thank you.

Many Heinz make light work.

Probably because people squeeze my middle instead of smacking my bottom all day.

Being regular is just a part of who he is.

Reminds me of something I tell my wife from time to time…“Your bowels aren’t the only thing that’s irritable.”

Easy to say for the “red” guys; but their “yellow” cousins have a separation problem.

Oy! It all in the packaging….

I am going to invent a mini-tray into which you can insert a salad dressing (or similar shaped ) package upside down and stand it on its head in the refrigerator.

A low-tech device that should make me millions of dollars.

one is catsup

the other is ketchup

True story: The Heinz ketchup label with the tomato was designed by my kid bro many years ago. His first job out of college was with the company that had the Heinz packaging contract. We always say that if Bruce had a nickel for every label with “his tomato” on it, he’d be richer than Bill Gates!

Someone popped a cap on his * .

I met your wife!

Well, I have oft found that you have done a very poor job wiping, indeed!

You need to “catsup” with the times, regular is the new irregular

It took me a while to figure this one out. Now that I have – Ungh!

I always described the new dispenser’s orifice -much to the dismay of my wife- a plastic sphincter. Thanks, Mark, for validating my choice of words!!!

Prune juice and catsup? Not sure it will catch on…

Love this cartoon!!!!

Remember when the catsup (and mustard) stood all day and all night on the tables in cafes with no refrigeration and the waitress, after cleaning the crumbs off the table would swipe around the tops with the cloth to clean them? How did we all survive?

“Anticipation”…