Pat Oliphant for February 24, 1986
Transcript:
President Ronald Reagan: Waal...as you know, the Philippines has a good 2-party system. Man: Hey! Gotta change that, boss. There's evidence of massive election fraud! Reagan: On both sides, I'm sure. Man: No, boss - Marcos is a cheap crook! Change the position, boss. Reagan: OK - we regret the fraud but we will stand by our loyal and trusted friend, whom we will never ask to step down. Man: Aquino won!! Jeez, hurry boss, or we'll miss the whole revolution! Reagan: OK - we will stand by our loyal and trusted friend, but he must step down and we insist on an orderly transition. Man: OK. We'll throw in an offer of asylum. We'll also issue a statement applauding your statesman-like leadership in this matter. Punk: Your carterishness.