Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 21, 2011

Amen, Rat.

Hmm, nothing in the warning against using it in the shower; that must be safe.

And that’s exactly how the feds (and Luddites) want you, Rat!

It’s funny because it’s true.

“WARNING! Instruction manuals may cause high blood pressure, anxiety, and sever depression!”

For years I’ve been putting slices of bread on the gas burner of my stove and turning them over after a few seconds

They tell you all that…and then you notice the stupid thing is 90% plastic.

We just got a new toaster yesterday, and I noticed all that. But my favorite is not to immerse in water. I so wanted to do that with the old toaster before throwing it out.

Yeah frivolous lawsuits AND the overpopulation of idiots.Who likely couldn’t read much less grasp a warning label.

Caution. This manual indiciates that all people are too dumb to live or has too many lawyers on this planet.

Years ago I lived in an apartment that had a fireplace. It was too dirty to keep a pile of firewood so I burned those artificial imitation fire logs. Once when lighting one I noticed it had printed on it:

“Caution: RISK OF FIRE”

Really. On a product whose only purpose is to burn…

Oh great!!! My English muffin just got stuck in my toaster while reading the strip. Anyone got a knife or a fork so I can remove it???

Nice having a former-lawyer cartoonist to point out this kind of banality in color! Friends from other countries just mock and shake their heads, which really doesn’t have as much entertainment value :-)

EVIL TOASTER!

Wait until Pig and Rat find out about the coffee maker!

This is really funny…wonder why Stephan likes to hide the strips he thinks no one will see on Sunday? It also happens to be true with the stupid warnings the manufacturers put on their products.

Be careful!

xxx

We used to say, and it was true, that instructions like these were written because someone did them. I used to work on an aircraft with props, instead of jets. There was a bold texted, large font, red highlighted warning in the aircraft manual to not walk under them while they were in use! There’s no such thing as common sense.

For every stupid warning on every product, there is an idiot the won a lawsuit.

You’re toast, Rat.

Remember what happened to the cell phone in Transformers. Our appliances really are out to get us!

My grand kids will be disappointed – I unwrapped something yesterday and the warning on the wrap said to “Keep away from children”.

For all of you wondering why such stupidity is necessary, just keep one small thing in mind: half of all Americans are of below average intelligence, and a whole lot more aren’t much smarter than that. It’s something especially to consider when reflecting on our current political situation…

It’s the first one that always gets me.Why do they bother telling people who are obviously reading the manual that they need to read the manual?

I wonder if Rat was the one who wrote it!

Am I the only one here who smells another hit for Blue Oyster Cult?

First you tell them what you’re going to tell them. Then you tell them. Then you tell them what you told them.

Can toasters be dangerous??

Haha! Lolz! :) I love this, but I think Mr. Pastis is getting too detailed on the drawings… They are starting to look less endearing…

Nothing can be worse than the multitude of fine print warnings that come with our medications. A sleep aid which warns “may cause drowsiness” is one silly example.

@A.Ficionado: No, I’m in NY, but I’ve been in Xinjiang twice and picked this Avatar to draw attention to the plight of the Uyghurs as they’re not getting the sympathy that the Tibetans (further south) are getting, probably because they’re Muslims and the Chinese are playing the terorist card to keep them down (let me know if you’ve read this, otherwise I’ll re-post it tomorrow)

LOL

@SusanSunshine, after you told me about your comment in yesterday’s comic, had to look. True story, when I was, maybe 8 or 9, I overheard my mother telling friend that so-and-so lost their baby and my first thought was, “who loses a baby, they should remember where they put it”. Kind of funny now, but i wasn’t really thinking of it as a joke at that time. In hindsight I am glad I thought it and didn’t say it.Cheers.

Very well said, Stephan. We are truly living in a nanny state.

Reminds me of the “Happy Fun Ball” skit from Saturday Night Live.

My favorite toaster site—especially the line: “At this point, the researchers also realized that the heat could inadvertently melt the adhesive cellophane and cause the flaming SPTs to suddenly eject from the toaster. Unfortunately, this did not occur.”

Yes, @arye, I had been wondering why you chose that name and that avatar. Good enough reason.

My favorite is “do not use iron while wearing clothes.” If you did this, and obviously someone did, you deserve to get burned.

That’s one bada*s toaster. The James Bond model.

Warning: Food may burn in product. Risk of poisoning.

I thought all of that was common sense.

Same with me and a lawn mower.

Warning: Product hot when heated.

I once had headphones that said that Microsoft would not be responsible if destroyed by “Acts of God”.

One of your better ones Stephan.

I wonder why products always come with warning labels. I recently ordered a star destroyer, and it had about eighty-seven pages of warnings.