Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 03, 2012

Transcript:

"Elly Elephant sat alone staring at the sugar dispenser. 'Oh, that I could meet someone to share my life.' And poof, the Marriage Fairy appeared. 'Tell me your wish, and it shall be yours. But before Elly could answer, whe ran into her friend, Rita Rabbit. 'What's wrong, Rita Rabbit?' 'My husband was supposed to meet me here,' she said, 'but he's an hour late.' 'He's always an hour late. Always. Doesn't call. Nothing. That is, when he even remembers me.' 'Of course, if it's his friends, it's different,' said Rita Rabbit. 'Then he drops everything.' 'It's just so frustrating, Elly Elephant. To be married, but so alone. What would you do if you were me?' Elly Elephant crushed the Marriage Fairy with the sugar dispenser. *WHAM* Goat: Well now, that's a heartwarming tale. Rat: "'Now smash her with the salt shaker!' yelled Rita Rabbit.' Pig: RUN FROM THE condiments l'il fairy!!