Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2014

yay parking

“And here’s more good news: I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance.”

When does he bring in Snuffles to perform a CAT scan?

House also had a dalliance with a “t*pless Hurdy Gurdy” player. Thought that quite a challenge.

Life itself is a terminal disease. You came in with nothing, and you take nothing with you when you go; might as well just enjoy the ride the best you can while you’re on it, harm no one, help others when and where you can, and share the joy.

More good news (from Rat’s point of view): the doctor gets paid the same whether he helps you or not!

I’d definitely go for a second opinion. Maybe from Bill the Cat, someone like that.

What about a grave site..you validate those also?

I was recently diagnosed with a fatal disease and you don’t know how close this comic strip is to the truth.

Maybe I should buy the collectible print of this.

“…CAT scan; but my problem was so minor, I got a KITTEN scan instead.” That’s good. Because as we all know, a big cat can kill you. But a little [something] never hurt anyone.

Rat has no concept of congruency. Parking validation balances fatal disease perfectly, as far as he can see. I don’t think I’d want Rat to be my doctor….

Mr. Jones: “I think I want a second opinion.”*Rat: “Okay. I think you’re ugly, too.”*ba-da-ching! Rimshot. Old joke.

“The bad news is we have to amputate both your legs. The good news is those are nice slippers, I’ll give you five bucks for them.”

Next Rat’s going to tell him, “I have to remove your appendix. I’ll need a bottle of scotch, a razor blade, some gauze, and a needle and thread. As soon as I’m done drinking the scotch we can begin the operation!”

From the look at the front of his gown I would say it lasted over four hours. That could be fatal…..grab Rat and have at it. Remember your parking is validated and any port in a storm….!!

Oh, Brilliant.

xxx

Life is a fatal disease.

No Rat, now he’s focusing on whether to kick you in the nose, your gluteus maximus, or the oompa loompas. Hope he goes for the oompa loompas.

the fatal disease is…

life.

The problem with American doctors is the system, such as it is, was set up to make doctors rich. Most only care about the money they make. One patient dead doesn’t matter, so long as another sucker shows up to take their place.