Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 10, 2014

Ever notice that “wonderful” children are seldom happy?

I’m one of two children. There are five extras (my step-siblings).

Kids are like baseball. Two hits out of three at-bats is pretty damn good.

The third has been hanging out with Rat.

The third is picking out the winner!

Stephan must have two siblings……

Tom is a wise father. Maybe even he could leave Number Three by the side of the road in some remote rural area and drive off?

The other two can do the job in only one pick.

The third is the pick of the litter.

Not to be confused with the Number Three here at GoComics that we all know and love…

Five years of wedded bliss! Been married since 2003.

…and one that’s a picky eater

here’s one for you and you, snots right

A classic Bud Collins remark. A camera was focused on John McEnroe’s dad when he decided to pick one. Collins’ remark was quick and to the point, ’Great backhand."

it is always 1 kid that is a total screw up. the one that some parents wonder if we left the kid unattended….

I always enjoyed telling people I had three kids. …one of each.

I was the first of six. Then my parents gave up all hope of ever having a normal child.

Could someone give me a link to a REALLY good “Pearls Before Swine” strip? Not that this one isn’t funny. : )

I work with kindergarten and first grade kids. Their fingers are always either down their pants or up their noses. Once a first grade boy stuck his hand in my face and told me to smell it.

This was a Brian Regan joke. His line says that he has two wonderful kids…and another one

Then there was the boy whose nose went on strike, so he had to picket!!

“When you’re dancing with your honey/And your nose is wet and runny/Don’t you think it’s funny//‘Cause it’s not!

I’ve made a decision to never have kids. I don’t want to hear one more person saying I’ll change my mind when I’m older.If they end up being right (which I very much doubt) I’ll give them credit.xxx

I know the feeling – but which one is “not-so-wonderful” keeps changing.

Ah, but it’s how they turn out in the end that counts!

Two sheep and a border collie.

He forgot to tell that one about the little spring up there that, when you hit it, makes your eye fall out.

As a man who grew up with ADHD, I was the black sheep of the family….

….and I still am. This touched a nerve, Mr. Pastis.

um…

How else would you describe a soul-less ginger?