Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 13, 2015
Transcript:
Rules for this year's Christmas visit: No judging me. That includes my clothes, weigh, car, and who I'm dating. No discussing politics. You are all loons. I do not find your baby/small child as endearing as you do. Please keep this in mind when they are screaming or throwing objects at my head. Please don't tell me how to live my life. Remember, I see you as loons. And please do not brag about your own life. It makes me want to shove your head into the rear end of the turkey. Lastly, none of these rules apply to me. I am great. Rat: Communication is the key to a happy family.
legaleagle48 almost 9 years ago
Actually, I agree with Rules 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 (I don’t have a problem with babies or small children).
Sherlock Watson almost 9 years ago
Except for the penultimate panel, those are words to live by.
Kind&Kinder almost 9 years ago
We are always the exception (or wish we were). It’s the rare family that, as members become more and more besotted with alcohol, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, pie and more alcohol doesn’t have a meltdown or two and, occasionally, a complete conflagration. It seems the gates of Hades swing open and the Hellmouth yawns. So…Rat’s Rules would make a lot of sense if everyone observed them. And they generally do—-before the alcohol. It’s a cautionary tale. It would probably help if three spirits visited each person the night before; perhaps we’d enjoy the holiday more. Well, God bless us, every one.
rbmumsie almost 9 years ago
Good grief, Rat is Donald Trump in disguise!
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Right you are! I communicate. You listen. And I stay happy.
knight1192a almost 9 years ago
Which is why all of Rat’s relatives will ignore his rules, they know full well Rat is lower than a dung beetle.
StCleve72 almost 9 years ago
Family is often just strangers with the same last name.
TMO1 Premium Member almost 9 years ago
This Sunday strip is really, really good. It almost makes up for all the dumb, far-fetched pun strips.
natureboyfig4 Premium Member almost 9 years ago
That poor turkey! MOST families just slay & eat them! :-P
ursamaj almost 9 years ago
Ah yes, words to live by. Especially the “You are all loons.” part. For all my Canadian relatives, I would like to say this. The Election was over 2 mths ago. Harper lost, Trudeau won. Your glass of booze is either half full or half empty, depending on how you voted. Let it go already. Plus, no amount of complaining is going to make the upcoming deficit, the Syrian refugees, COP21, legalized pot, the MMIW commission or 36$ a barrel oil go away. For once, please x 3 just eat, drink, be merry & thankful there was still some room on that credit card. Season’s greetings to one & all & don’t be cheap about taking a cab when the party is over.
juicebruce almost 9 years ago
Stephan you forgot to put the panel in where one of the other characters hits Rat with the bat !
inshadowz almost 9 years ago
Rat is dating?!?
mammamoonbeam almost 9 years ago
This is why I don’t “do” holidays anymore. Prefer to spend them quietly, on my own.
Sisyphos almost 9 years ago
By and large, I’m at the age where I can plausibly skip such frightful gatherings of clan members. But, in truth, a somewhat less bellicose version of Rat’s Rules is not all that far from what I’d say….
garcoa almost 9 years ago
I like loons – solitary birds for the most part (with their partner). Disappear when you approach them. Good family members.
JudyAz almost 9 years ago
Rat sees them all as Canadian dollar coins?
betsypoe almost 9 years ago
hmmm.. this is one of those rare occasions when Rat and I are on board the same train..
Queen of America almost 9 years ago
This is the absolute best holiday strip I have ever seen.
abbybookcase almost 9 years ago
these things are always easier to swallow with alcohol. drive safely
mjb515 almost 9 years ago
The problem is everyone in the family has the same set of rules, particularly the last one.
mail2jbl almost 9 years ago
Panel 5 is the best.
Number Three almost 9 years ago
I can identify with the 6th rule.
After all, I don’t tell anybody how to live their lives. I’m all for individuality.
xxx
tarzina3 almost 9 years ago
i can see many printers running and many front doors having a copy of this posted!
NWdryad almost 9 years ago
Lizzie at Reply All, take note!
Andrew Bosch Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Does the turkey have stuffing?
Jazz Cat almost 9 years ago
I totally agree with Rat’s rules for the holidays. Way to go Rat!
laurenpaul almost 9 years ago
Why save these rules for the holidays? Sounds like they should apply every day of the year.
leopardglily almost 2 years ago
I agree wholeheartedly, with the exception of that last.