Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 21, 2016

Wish I could do that to 90% of the people I meet.

Me at school

All these clues could apply to Rat except for one, and that’s because Rat usually doesn’t wear a shirt.

They don’t hear you, Rat; they’re just watching your lips move while listening to “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen.

This is great for a school campaign.

Thanks. Very helpful.

The words of chairman “Rat”

Did not expect that ending. funny!

Stephan, please tell me that Rat is not left handed.

Pastis, your advice is a few years to late to help me.

More crocs, please.

Print it, laminate it, pass it out as necessary to all your friends. Do them all a (dis)service.

It would have been more effective in panel 6 if it was a kick to the oompa loompas

For my birthday (a couple of weeks ago) my wife bought me “The Everyday Shirt”. I don’t understand why she’s complaining. I’ve worn it everyday since. (Saves on laundry).

Ha ha ha! Those, socially inept people, am I right? Huh?

(Looks up from Smartphone)

Did you say something, Rat?

xxx

A man whose parents consider him the son they never had.

Very good! Probably have the volume turned up to make sure they hear nothing Rat say’s. And yes, more crocs. Larry’s a perfect example of how NOT to live life.

Ring-construction! Today’s literary device for subtly taking Rat down a notch or two. So self-deprecating yet useful!

If shirts weren’t made to wear for more than 5 days, why are there 7 days in a week?

Hehehehehehe

Thanks for nothing! As a socially inept person, I find it insulting! But also somewhat accurate. Sigh.