Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 07, 2016

I wish my car had that feature.

That’s my goal, too.

Why are my trousers so tight around the waist? They must be shrinking.

This will surely be a sought-after feature for people who have a lot of junk in the trunk.

Ref: Star Trek episode, “The Gamesters of Triskelion” (sp?) where the protagonists had become so totally unphysical that all that was left of them was their brains in a chamber. They wagered in quatloos.

When luxury becomes necessity. That’s how we’re living.

Why even bother with a car? Get a satellite tv, a nice couch and a phone; the whole world comes to you.

We’re about 3500 years too early—

“In the year 5555

Your arms hangin’ limp at your sides

Your legs got nothin’ to do

Some machine’s doin’ that for you"

Zager And Evans – In The Year 2525

A case for the Self-Closing Trunk:The wife and I go grocery shopping.We can haul all the bags into the house in one trip.Neither of us has a hand free to close the trunk lid.What to do, what to do/

It’s taking so long to achieve pure consciousness with no physical form unless one cares to manifest one…

When pigs drive cars it that the same as flying ? As in “When Pigs Fly”

I want the kind of car where my driver pushes the button to close the trunk.

Finally, an honest person !

Back in the day they had their own staff to do that.

In my day, we had to GET UP AND WALK ACROSS A WHOLE ROOM to change the channel on the TV…you young whippersnappers don’t know how good you have it!

I love that car

Keep talking goat, but I bet you feel differently next time you have to carry out something with both hands.

Haven’t laziness and obesity always been up with Pig’s species?

My car should open the trunk on the first push, dump the body on the second push, and close the trunk on the third push. Self cleaning would be a plus.

Pig, you’ll get your wish when you go to register it at the DMV.

Volvo’s new station wagons are already moving in that direction..

The sensor is positioned to the left of center under the bumper,

Put the toe under the sensor, tailgate opens or closes.

Is that actually a real thing or has Pastis made it up? Never heard of cars which have that feature.

xxx

I love it when somebody will drive two miles to the gym then run five miles on their treadmill.

Right. This feature is just for laziness – like all those lazy parents trying to keep track of toddlers while dealing with groceries – or those lazy disabled people who have trouble raising their arms over a certain point – or those lazy people who are just a bit shorter than most and can’t reach – you know, those lazy types.

Speaking as a person who is being progressively handicapped by an inherited bone defect, I can no longer close my car trunk, but I doubt that the energy required to do so manually has any effect on obesity or weight in general. I appreciate and avail myself when I can of devices and machinery that make it possible for me to continue to work full time and support myself. This cartoon is a (rare) misfire for Pastis, who was and is one of my favorite cartoonists.

I’m too short to reach the raised trunk lid, so I love that feature on my current car. I can finally use my trunk space!

Who needs a car when all you are going to do in life (short as it will be) is sit on the couch, watch brainless TV, and eat copious amounts of junk-food, washed down with gallons of sugary beverages? What’s the point?

If the effort of closing your trunk is anything but insignificant, you desperately need the exercise!

It is pretty darn nice to open it that way, though.