Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 05, 2017

Somebody beat up Rat.

That would be very helpful.

This is why old people tell you to go out and see the world when you’re young: they forget YOU’RE BROKE.

Pretty good argument for joining the Merchant Marines.

Summary of today’s strip: “nuts,” “nuts,” “nuts,” and “oompa loompas.”

Maybe cashing in the family jewels would help…

How come I’m old and still don’t have any money?

Pastis could start a series: “Rat explains it all.”

“Oompa-Loompas?” That term has never been used in “Pearls Before Swine” for a LONG time, as far as I can remember.

Fair.

Enjoy your severely limited and fatally flawed existence as a bag of flesh!

Got money. Got time. Got new knees. Off I go….

Rat makes me realize that Willie Wonka is still relevant.

Maybe a can of Planter’s would help (they keep saying “Nuts”).

Act nuts and go anyway.

I’m old, have plenty of time and decent knees, and 8 bucks in cash. Here I go!

So, we’re all “oompa-loompa doompity-screwed”?

I don’t see the censor guy.

I don’t see the censor guy.

I.e. life’s a b***h, then you die.

Rat’s nads must be orange with green hair!!

Codswallop! Young (or old), one can travel cheap. Frankly, the cheap way is a helluva lot more interesting and fun.

I’m 63. Never have had money. Teacher. Can’t take vacation when needed. Work all summer too.

Life is just one oompah-loompah afer another, and then you die.

I never understood the connection to Willie Wonka chocolate factory characters

Someone google oompa loompas and explain the Pearls last panel.

That is me exactly – even down to the 2 bad knees. But I still travel anyway, I just can’t do the more hectic of the sightseeing.

“Never for a long time?” Isn’t that self-contradictory?

I’ve never had money to do any significant travel.

Hey, I travel every day. It’s called commuting.

These are all great excuses to not travel. However:- youth hostels/camping- scheduling- cruise ship (wheelchair-friendly, too)And then you can have your ashes blasted off into space if that was also a dream.

It’s really all about your life’s priorities. If travel isn’t high on your list, it’ll show. If travel really was a priority, I guess you can always browse through your scrapbook of excuses in your old age. Some folks call it “The Book of Regrets” or “My Life Without Oompa Loompas”.

Buy me a beer sometime, and I’ll tell you some of my travel stories. Buy me two beers to shut me up.

We’re all just blood bags for vampires. Thanks, Rat, you miserable rodent!!!

Ha! Rat is right, for most cases. But I had a job that entailed travel, and so I spent a lot of time overseas. Didn’t see as much of the World as I would have liked, but saw some at least, and got to know certain regions pretty well. Now that I am an Old Fart and single as always, I find travel mostly too arduous to be more attractive than home…

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. Sholom Aleichem

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Mark Twain

The only disability in life is a bad attitude. Scott Hamilton

NO! Not the Oompa Loompas!

[Sobbing]

That’ll leave a mark—and make me laugh, too.

You can never have all 3 of those things at once: time, money, and good knees…

oh no..

Oom-pa loom-pa doop a dee dasis, that information is on a need-to-know basis!