Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 28, 2018

I can’t bother to get up early enough to punch the early risers.

Sorry Rat, but many of the early risers beat the tar out of punchers like you while your just getting up.

I thought the two types of people in the world were people with loaded guns, and people who dig.

“You dig.”

Please don’t punch me, Rat! I have to wake up before dawn every day this month for the Sahur meal in Ramadan. (Yes, I’m a Muslim)

There are only two types of people in the world…Those who believe the world can be divided into two types and those who don’t.

My old roommate was like that. He’d be up and screeching about, singing to himself and making a racket when everyone else was being surly and grouchy. I wanted to murder him.

As long as they stay quiet, I feel no need to harm any early riser …

If it’s the early that bird catches the worm, why’d the worm get out of bed?

It’s early to bed,

And early to rise,

And your girl’ll go out

With other guys!

Honey, let me be your salty dog…

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M. Erma Bombeck

There are two types of people in this world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

The best thing about being a morning person is never having to set/wake up to your alarm. I have to be up by 6:00 every morning, usually up by 4:30 at the latest. I get a headache if I try to sleep and I’m not tired.

I’ve always been a morning person, even as a young child—-and if you try to punch me, Rat, I will beat the living crap out of you!

Just like JPayne4040 said…since childhood, I have been an early riser. Now that I’m retired, I get up even EARLIER, between 4:30-5am. It feels GREAT to get a jump on the day (and ready Go Comics with a cup of coffee). LOL

Only 2 types who sleep that late, Bad Girls & Burglars.

The two types of people are those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

A large proportion of the punchers seem to be the males of our species. And during te day, they are able to sleep at the drop of a hat. And since the female works for less while doing the same job, the men must be financially rewarded for that there sleeping.

I’ve been getting up at 4:20 every morning.

I have a black Lab who can tell time. 5:30 seems to be her favorite barking time.

https://i.chzbgr.com/full/8392816640/h3D7EE661/

Prepare to be punched back…and kneed.

Us late risers can do our punching (and making annoying sounds) around midnight.

Pretty good! I was hoping the guard duck would make an appearance and do something for Memorial Day in remembrance of those who served and gave the ultimate sacrifice.

I’m not an early riser, but I get up before Dawn everyday. She likes to sleep until noon. ;-)

It’s too early for this argument.

Morning people are hard to love.

I have no problem with early risers. Somebody needs to bake the breakfast biscuits and other stuff. They also have started the coffee so I’m less likely to punch them for being so cheerful. Plus, there’s always noisy revenge from those of us with insomnia or a weird sleeping schedule.

A friend has started working from 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM. I have to call her every night to wake her up to go to work. It can take as long as fifteen minutes of phone calls and I once had to drive to her place and pound on the door.

They call it the graveyard shift for good reason.

There two types of people, those that want you to succeed, and those who are afraid you will.

I FINALLY SOLVED MY RUBIX CUBE!!! IT TOOK ME 3 YEARS!!

There are two types of people in this world. People who will fall out of planes, and the people that push them

Count me among Rat’s Punchers! I loathe mornings, period. Early morning risers are too sanctimonious for their own good….

The greatest sin of morning people, is insisting that everyone ought to be just like them.

There are two types of people in the world: morning people and society.

there are two types of people in this world… those who wake up early and those who are forced to wake up early