Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 12, 2018

Well, Pig, now you have to pay a $50 ransom.

There’s been a lot of jokes about minibars and self control over the years. I’m glad I can’t remember ever having a minibar in my room in any of the hotels I’ve stayed in, especially as a kid. Think $50 would be a light bill in my case.

What are you? Some kind of pig? er… wait a sec.

Stayed in the Hollywood Roosevelt while some kind of RB/Rap awards ceremony was going on. Crystal Champagne in the mini bar for over $1000! Evidently it was being consumed at all the parties. I was just there to visit my son, a few blocks away, honest! Nobody invited me to a party.

You’ve got a problem there, Pig.

I don’t need self-control. I’m just cheap.

Good thing he probably didn’t know about room service.

Pig could have sworn they were whispering ‘eat me’ in his ear!

Sorry, Pig. But my mouth and tummy have taken me hostage and I’m going to eat you now.

…" I said hotel, motel, Holiday Inn (Say Whuuuh?…" – The Sugarhill Gang

He had self control…he clearly only ate one!

Just open up the belt another notch ! and the wallet !

Have they ever been shown at work? Where does all the money come from?

If my mouth takes me hostage I am going to embrace the Stockholm syndrome.

I was staying at a NYC hotel with my wife and step-daughter. They had a basket of candy bars in between the rooms of our suite. My step-daughter grabbed and almost unwrapped one until we pointed put that they were $7 each. She wasn’t a kid anymore, so she had the self control to put it right back.

My liver would have held me hostage.

We luckily noticed a $5 price tag on 16 oz bottles of water before opening them in our Long Beach hotel room last month. Just the idea of trying to rip off guests would keep me from staying there again. And I let them know.

Ah yes, the dishonor bar, home of the $10 Toblerone!

My willpower stands no chance against my mouth power. #JustEatIt

I used to travel a lot. But travelling cured me of that.

We had stayed a couple days in a hotel in Germany, the mini bar was an honor system back then, you wrote down what you took out, and turned in the bill at the end of your stay. One guy didn’t get the concept, we think he believed it was free with the room, he cleaned out the fridge. He left earlier than us to get his flight. The hotel did keep track of what they put in! So we got stuck with the bill!!!

I would have envisioned this scenario with Rat & beer, not Pig & candy.

I can resist everything but temptation. (But I know better than to take out of the room bar.)

Heard a story where the parents left a teenaged girl in the hotel room alone while they went out. They told her to order room service. So she ordered shrimp cocktail, surf & turf, an expensive dessert, and then ate a bunch of stuff from the minibar. I hope they learned a lesson.

Pig is weak. He is pathetic. He is dumb. But, he is bacon….

Instinct is stronger.

Forget the minibar! Bring your own whenever possible! Or you could cram chocolate bars into the minibar and see what happens.