Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 07, 2021

If it makes you feel better, other people are afraid you will start showing up at social gatherings when the pandemic is over.

Is there a cherry tree you can chop down?

as dreadful as the 1918 Spanish flu

So many people that say they’re tired of the “new normal” are going to be flummoxed when they remember they didn’t like to old normal either.

I’ll avoid the gatherings with or without COVID.

Look on the bright side, Rat—you’d have great success as a used-car salesman!

It’s strange…like rat, I don’t like ‘social gatherings’, but now that we can’t have any I miss them. Humans are a weird species.

Can I keep wearing my mask when its over?

Wait a minute, there were social gatherings before the pandemic? Nobody told me.

Just hide under the covers, call it your “bunker”, and tell everyone you’re waiting for the “second coming of the Orange Messiah” …

I can definitely relate to this.

There are some social gatherings where I don’t mind the excuse not to gather, but on the whole, I prefer having a choice.

the social gatherings to avoid are any “special” events aka a poor white trash mobs despoiling America at Trump’s direction.

He’s in a freaking bar, not wearing a mask and not socially distanced. Where does he live?

And I don’t feel like moving.

I LIKE BEING SOCIAL

I’m fine with never shaking anyone’s hand again. I’m a no touchy kind of guy.

“… lying all the time always”? Isn’t that a bit redundant? :-X

Definitely with rat on this one.

Went to Walgreens on Tuesday for the Senior discount and when I reminded the checkout clerk that I was a senior, I got a quizzical look. My wife says it’s the mask and because my hair is still full and the same color as always … who knew there’s another benefit to these blasted things …

I’ve never identified with Rat more clearly than today.

Paradise can’t last forever for the anti-social.

Diogenes, I found your man and he is not what you think…..

I was never invited to anything anyway.

I dread having people want to hug me again…

Or die gasping for your last breath. Just sayin.

No worries. Society ended long ago. Didn’t anyone tell you?

Never read while drinking milk.

Illness will be a plan B again.

And the difference is?

Yes.

Rat is a hardcore Realist. “Pandemic” is such a good all-around excuse!

I love this. (Hint, don’t look at what rat says in the last panel)