Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 22, 2024

I wonder if people in Heaven sing “Happy Death Day to You.”

I would expect Rat to prefer a cane, because you can hit people with that.

I doubt Rat will have to worry about it where he’s going.

Wouldn’t the people up there be celebrating their deathday?

The last time he saw Uncle Frank, he was the guest of honor at a luau.

Some of us will have arthritis for ever and a non. Old age ain’t for wimps.The good die young might be true observation but I’ll keep a’going putting off any heavenly reward.

I remember Uncle Frank, had him in a BLT back in ’21.

Wouldn’t your ‘heavenly birthday’ be your time of death?

Today is my unbirthday. And so is tomorrow, and the day after that…..

Rat is happy about having a walker? I shudder to imagine how he plans to use it.

I turn 69 today! I feel pretty good! I plan on hitting the gym and trying to do 10 pull-ups on the pull-up bar. Wish me luck because I struggle with going past 7 of them!

Don’t think rat will see heaven.

I like remembering the birthdays of passed relatives. I think it’s a sweet way to honor their memory.

I’d rather have a scooter than a walker.

Don’t worry Rat, I don’t think Heaven is going to be your final destination.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Annette Funicello.

I don’t think disabilities and physical limitations apply in the afterlife.

No, Rat, it would melt away.

To me a heavenly birthday would be cherry chip cake with cherry icing, chocolate ice cream, and no calories in either.

Rat is one incredibly determined pessimist!

My SIL posts Heavenly Birthday cards in remembrance of her departed loved ones – including my late brother. Personally, I find it a bit unnerving.

The bible is full of ridiculous stories.

Have you ever noticed the similarities between pearls before swine characters and Wallace the brave characters? examples:

Wallace=Pig

Amelia=Rat

the Dad=Stephan

Rose=goat

Mrs. Macintosh=wise * on the hill

the Mom=Patty (Larry’s wife)

Spud=Larry

What we celebrate is the anniversary of the day of our birth, which doesn’t change.

It’s actually more traditional to commemorate the date of death, though I’m not sure how common that is anymore.

Well Johnnie Walker is smoother than Jack Daniel’s.

You don’t have a body in heaven so no walker needed.

The singing in Heaven is done only by choirs, and no popular tunes

You’ll never know….

It’s disturbing to think that every year we experience the date on which we will die without knowing it. (And I trust we need not get pedantic about February 29.)

I assume the icebreaker question in heaven will be, “So how didja die?” It would really suck to have to say, “I didn’t see the garbage truck coming.” If I had something like that to happen to me, I’d lie. “Oh, I was in a desperate shootout with the police.” Not only is that a cool way to go, it would be impressive for another reason: “Wow! And you still got in HERE?”

No, Rat, the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics does not apply in Heaven.

Stephan, “heavenly birthday” is actually the anniversary of a person’s death. It is not their earthly birthdate celebrated in heaven.

Just the other day I overheard a similar conversation between one woman and her daughter. The woman was saying that she’s looking forward to the resurrection and she is eager to see her husband again… and they got on that topic of wheel chairs and walkers, etc.

(My mother is in a nursing home, and this woman is a new resident there, across the way from my mother. Since then I found out that they are of the JW faith, of which we are not, and resurrection is major in their religion.)

makes ZERO sense to wish a dead person happy birthday. Utterly stupid.

Eternity is a really long time. Better bring a book.

I always imagine old Rat with a very robust cane. Or a quarterstaff.

No, Rat….you’ll need sunscreen….LOTS of sunscreen!

Do I have to be reunited with my family in Heaven? I’d rather have my cats back.