Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for September 18, 2013
Transcript:
Phoebe: How long are these kids gonna follow me around? Girl: Phoebe is so cool! Kid: Yeah! Marigold: Perhaps forever. Girl: I like how pointy her nose is! Kid: I like how round her head is! Phoebe: What? No way! Marigold: We have tampered with the shield of boringness. Girl: She's my friend! Kid: She's MY friend! Marigold: I am working on it, but... There are repercussions. Girl: MINE! Kid: MINE! Phoebe: Could you please fix it before I get repercussioned in half?
my solutions1. give Phoebe a shield2. it wares off as she begins to like it.3. Dakota upstages her4. she turns invisible and hides in a bush with LSH.5. Marigold passes the curse on to some one else, an old shoe maybe or perhaps a squirrel. 6. Some kind of crazy made up other thing thats just in Dana’s head and some how she just makes it work even if it sounds kind of made up.7. Marigold is teaching Phoebe a lesson and the spells not actually messed up. 8. Some other magical creature shows up and diverts all attention.9. Phoebe discovers a way to undo all this by accident by acting un-unicorn-like. 10. she leaves and goes in to hiding, living under an assumed name and with a fake mustache she joins a band of like-minded unicorn gypsies and likewise cursed humans who are immune to her new found yet unwanted popularity and lives out her days playing the accordion in exchange for apples that she trades for room and board and she survives on a steady stream of free meals from Todd until putting on enough pounds that kids forget about why they thought she was so great. Then it when shes 16 and trying to out shine Dakota to win boys and a prom crown, she almost thinks of using magic to cheat but then remembers this day and how badly fame backfires.
or she can do what any one does to loose there fame, get her self involved in a public scandal then star in a movie thats a box office bomb due to miscasting, bad writing, bad effects and poorly chosen subject matter possibly along side M . Night, Eddy Murffy, a current popular music star, a hyper active annoying child side kick , Jar-Jar Binks and Shia la buff in the live action adaptation of the Shirt tails done in mostly rushed CGI. Then if all that doesn’t kill her fame she can insult an entire group of people over a viral video and get a DWI for ridding a unicorn while hopped up on office That’ll make sure no one likes her. and if she STILL wants to loose her popularity reeboot the strip as a chibi high school drama room mates sitcom with Marigold as a human teenage girl with no magical powers voiced by Fran drecheir, have :LSH show his entirer boddy and be voicsed by Gilber Godfri and give Phoebe a younger sister plaid by Terra Strong, but it won’t be her cool roll like Twilight or Raven it’ll be a Timmy Turner clone and Dakota will have the same personality as spungebob but be voiced by Willyam Shatner doing a spungebob impersonation. and the art will be by Rob Linfield. There thats how you make Phoebe completely unpopular
but fear not after the reboot and the complete destroying of her career there will be a 3rd or 4th reboot of the strip and THAT will be the one that gets it right. It’ll be on an other network and there’ll be a different tone to it, but it’ll actually remain faithful to the original source material By then the original Phoebe will be a grand mother but she’[ll give a performance so great it’ll be her come back and she’ll get to be in TV adds and in a brand new series and she’ll finally WANT the fame and attention. She’ll get 3 Emmies, an Oscar and a life time achievement award then have some thing named after her. She’ll have an anniversary reunion with Marigold and Dana who by then will be running yet another successful series , perhaps about a boy and his griffin or a spin off about Sue, it’ll be very heartwarming. Then just before she passes away and 102 Marigold cam magic her in to an immortal unicorn, then she can go back in time and stop her self from doing show and tell and prevent the less popular HN spin-off Kid who throws her shoes at things.