Reality Check by Dave Whamond for August 14, 2016

cute

Enjoys fine dining, travel=I will spend every cent you have.

40-ish = 48Adventurer= Has had more partners than you ever will.Affectionate= PossessiveArtist = UnreliableAthletic = Flat chestedAverage-Looking = UglyBeautiful = Pathological liarCommitment-minded= Pick out curtains, now!Communication important =Just try to get a word in edgewiseAdventurer =Has had more partners than you ever will.AffectionatePossessiveArtist =UnreliableAthleticFlat chestedAverage-Lookingn = UglyBeautifulPathological liarCommitment-mindedPick out curtains, now!Communication important=Just try to get a word in edgewiseEducated = College dropoutEmotionally Secure =MedicatedEmployed =Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home.Enjoys art and opera= SnobEnjoys Nature =Bring your own granolaExotic Beauty =Would frighten a MartianFeminist = Fat; ball busterFinancially Secure =One paycheck from the streetFree spirit =Substance userFriendship firstTrying to live down reputation as slut.Fun= AnnoyingGentle = ComatoseGood Listener = Borderline AutisticHumorous =CausticIntuitive= Your opinion doesn’t countIn TransitionNeeds new sugar-daddy to pay the bills.Light drinkerLushLooks younger =If viewed from far away in bad light.Loves TravelIf you’re payingLoves AnimalsCat ladyMature= Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did.New-Age = All body hair, all the time and stinks of body odourNon-tradition = Ex-husband lives in the basementOld-fashioned =Lights out, missionary, position only.Open-minded=DesperateOutgoing = LoudPassionate =LoudPetite =Wouldn’t stand out in a pack of MunchkinsPoet = Depressive SchizophrenicProfessional = BitchRedhead = Shops on the Clairol aisleReliable = FrumpyRubenesque = Grossly FatRomantic = Looks better by candle lightSelf-employed = JoblessSmart = InsipidSpecial = Rode the short school busStable = BoringTall, thin = AnorexicTanned = WrinkledVoluptuous = Very FatWeight proportional to height = If I was 8 Foot ^ inches TallWants Soul mate = One step away from stalkingWidow = Nagged first husband to deathWriter = PompousYoung at heart = Toothless croneDistinguished-looking =Fat, gray, and baldEducated =Will always treat you like an idiotEmployed= On management track at Radio ShackGood Looking = Arrogant bastardHuggable =Overweight, more body hair than Gentle BenLight drinker = Headed for AALikes to cuddle = Insecure, overly dependentLike romantic walks on the beach =I read Cosmo and think this is what you want to hearMature =Until you get to know himPhysically fit = I spend a lot of time in front of mirrors admiring myself.Poet = Once wrote on a bathroom stall while constipatedProfessionalOwns a white button downReliable = Shows up on time—give or take 3 hoursSensitive =NeedySmart =Thinks Cheers is “the wittiest show ever on TV”Spiritual =Once went to church with his grandmother on EasterStable =Occasional stalker, but never arrestedThoughtful= Says “Please” when demanding a beer.Virile =Can read 3 Penthouse Forums without passing out.Likes art and Literature = Comic book fanaticLikes Older Men = Has serious “daddy” issues.

This cartoon is so true. “No drama” means guaranteed drama. If her profile pic is a group photo, she’s the ugly one.

More like 52 and he’ll blame it on dyslexia.