Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for December 10, 2012

Think of it from the employee’s point of view. They have a bazillion things to do that day that do not involve customers and the boss breathing down their neck threatening to fire them if they don’t stay on overtime to get those bazillion things done, and then some rude person comes up like they own the universe and demand that you give them your full attention either by clearing their throat (oh yeah that’s way more polite than actually lowering yourself down enough to actually speak to us!) or giving the employee your entire life’s story while the clock ticks on before you get to your point, or asking something stupid (like standing right in front of the sale sign you ask how much the product is or where it is, like, you’re in front of it, you moron! or seeing a big sign that says “Sorry we’re out till Tuesday” and it’s Sunday and you ask if there’s any more) or asking about a different department that’s clearly not yours (like you’re stocking a dairy shelf and they ask you about bakery, uh, yeah you’d have to ask the bakery people) or asking for something downright illegal (“you’re just going to throw that outdated product in the garbage? Throw it in my purse!” Nope, sorry, no can do, not worth my job and jail time seeing as knowingly selling expired product is against federal law, I don’t care how much you whine and look at me like I’m being mean to you) or asking us to bend other store rules (you get a discount when you buy 6 bottles of wine but you only want 5? No, I don’t care that that employee over there who’s about to be written up now that I know about it did it for you, I’m not going to risk getting my own write up) or asking about things we can not possibly change (“why has the price of this product gone up, how horrid I can’t believe you charge this much for it, and I don’t care that prices are decided at corporate level and you don’t have any say in it”, or “the product is out for another few days!? I want it nnooooowwwwww make the truck come now!”) or asking for us to hurt ourselves and others (“I know you only have a limited number of things in the backroom due to a limited amount of space but I want an insane number of these so that the shelf is empty and no other customer can buy them for almost a week”) or wasting our time (“does your magical backroom have any more of this item?” No, it does not. That is an item not in my department so when I’m forced to humor you and go wander the backroom hoping it falls off a pallet and hits me in the head I know right now I won’t find any and you know what? About 90% of the time I don’t find whatever they want). Think about us for once instead of yourselves, treat us like humans and don’t make insane or impossible requests, remember that you’re not all-important, the universe doesn’t revolve around you, there’s a lot more to the job than waiting on you hand and foot and it seems every other week corporate has a new report or more paperwork we have to do. When I worked there my job was: facing, offloading trucks, paperwork, scans, more scans, orders, more orders, more trucks, paperwork, organizing, paperwork, scans. I didn’t have time to help people. Especially not the rude “I checked my brain at the door” people who were barely even human who treated you like you weren’t worthy to be the scum on their shoe. Treat us right and you get great service. As an example I was in an aisle once and overheard someone whining very loudly about how they can’t find this product and why don’t they organize the store better. I ignored them. A second customer in the same aisle at the same time came over to me and asked very politely where an item was. You know what? I took her over and showed her where it was and was all niceness. Maybe ask politely and nicely next time instead of treating us like garbage.