Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 18, 2013
July 15, 2013
July 22, 2013
Transcript:
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces together! dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming the aclu when pulled up. farmer: owch rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful!
Yes, but they might come in handy when zombies show up on your lawn.