Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 30, 2013
September 26, 2013
October 03, 2013
Transcript:
what's the right band instrument for you? guy: ow the sousaphone try handling this thing in a stiff breeze without incurring a major mal-occlusion. it's a regular orthodontist's delight. avoid this one. the viola the most ill-tempered member of the notor-ious string family. currently under indictment for ar-ranging a hit on the woodwind family. viola: tonight the bassoon sleeps with the fishes. cello: right, boss. the glockenspiel about as musical as a baby's toy. you might as well just jingle the loose change in your pants pocket. dinky dinky dink dinkadink dink dink dinkydi dinky dink kid: stop.
Ain’t a glockenspiel. A glockenspiel is laid out horizontally, has tubular resonators, and is played with a mallet in each hand. The instrument shown is a bell lyre, strictly for marching, played with only the right hand because the left hand is needed to support the instrument. Since it is used only for marching, it is commonly played by oboe players, since oboes don’t, as a rule, march.
One also doesn’t usually encounter a viola in a band, but Sullivan called what he used in his comic operas a “band”, even though it differed from an orchestra only in using cornets instead of trumpets, so I’ll let it slide.