Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 12, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack, by richard thompson don't pinch that chocolate! confused by the chocolate assortment you received for valentine's day? use this e-z guide. unidentifiable creme that's so sweet it makes you cough. the exact same, only pink. mayonnaise. a topical analgesic. wild ed's hellfire-spittin' bowel rocket hot sauce. pepperjack cheese. organ meats. somebody already pinched this one. depleted uranium and walnuts. this is the knob off a kitchen drawer. nougex, the latest in nougat technology, with unparall tensile fully ten times that of previous nougat. peanuts! run! a half-smoke. helium-infused orange creme. chocolate: pfth- i'm not sure what it is, but it's making a noise.