Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 11, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson monuments to motherhood three proposals for a permanent memorial to the maternal arts. woman 1: hey! lemme go! i'm 35 and-a-half years old! i've got my own life now! 1. take a 300-mile apron string & wrap it, christo-like, all over k street, then let people get tangled up in it. however, this does treat motherhood somewhat ironically, & mothers don't like irony, or any of that other smart-mouth show-off stuff the kids are doing these days. man 1: what? i didn't do anything! what? ok, i'm sorry! 2. this one, based on stone age art, is carved from a 40-foot block of granite & radiates a kind of mono-lithic disapproval. guaranteed to induce a vague sense of guilt for over two miles. man 2: i wanna sit on big mom's lap! c'mon, i've had a bad day! woman 2: go find your ow big mom, ya big baby. 3. a series of fiberglass moms, scattered all over d.c. like those pandas, but much more comforting.