Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 24, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac unrelated developments by richard thompson brokaw slapped with restraining order wwii veterans were "elated" after a judge today ordered tv anchor & "great-est generation" author tom brokaw to stay at least 100 yards from them at all times. "he's always following us around & gushing about how great we are & how he's not worthy." said one vet. "it's like being stalked by a deranged fan." brokaw, who has built a billion-dollar industry on "greatest generation" re-lated merchandise such as hats, t-shirts, lawn ornaments, denture ad-hesive & adult diapers, was travel-ling & could not be reached for comment. gop develops new language rep. bob barr (r-ga.) announced that congressional republicans have created a new language, dubbed "reaganonics" in honor of the former president. "reagan reagan reagan reagan reagan reagan ronal reagan." he said. when asked if they hoped to declare it the official national language, barr winked and said "dutch." georgetown woman, dog take unexpected trip an unidentified woman who stepped on a georgetown manhole cover while walking her dog awoke 15 minutes later to find herself & her dog in hyattsville, md. "it's like we're dorothy & toto landing in oz," she said. "only without the midgets" she is reportedly shaken but unscathed except for the loss of both shoes which were "by prada."