Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 26, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac a handy candy-giving guide kid: i'm pokemon! treat give him 2 circus peanuts, tops. kid: i'm the y2k bug, give me all the candy or i'll eat the power grid. give him all the candy. kid: i'm that toy you want-ed when you were six and found on ebay for a small fortune. give him a certified check or money order for $235.00. kid: i'm a big goiter. give her quinine treatments. kid: i'm al gore. stiff him. kid: i'm susan faludi. stiff her, too. kid: i'm a tv reporter. are you at risk of household ex-plosions caused by a build-up of volatile pumpkin fumes? give her a marshmallow peep left over from easter. baby 1: i'm the 6 billionth baby! baby 2: i'm the 5,000,000,000th! baby 3: 998th baby 4: 997 one pez per person. kid: i'm pokemon! richard thompson blow out the pumpkin and turn off the lights.